Funny

These 10 Horrifying Creatures From 80’s Movies Are Still Giving Me Nightmares

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Being born about halfway through 1990, the “80s have always seemed like a mysterious and archaic time to me. All I know about this strange era is what I”ve pieced together from my parents” sparse collection of video cassettes.

Whenever I popped in an ancient movie, there would inevitably be something there that would make me wet my pants. It made me so glad that I wasn”t born in the 1980s, which to me, will always be the time of monsters. Here are a few of the ones that still haunt my subconscious to this day.

1. The Mogwai after they have hatched into Gremlins

The Mogwai after they have hatched into Gremlins

I don”t know why, but a lot of monsters in the “80s looked perpetually moist.

2. The Hell scene from All Dogs Go To Heaven

The Hell scene from <em>All Dogs Go To Heaven</em>

Truly the modern answer to Dante”s Inferno.

3. The crate monster from Creepshow

The crate monster from <em>Creepshow</em>

It”s like they took the abominable snowman from Rudolph and were like, “More teeth, and make him jacked.”

4. The Cutty Black Sow from Tales from the Darkside

The Cutty Black Sow from <em>Tales from the Darkside</em>

Simple yet powerful. This basically kept me from entering a room without a flashlight until I was 12 years old.

5. The library ghost from Ghostbusters

The library ghost from <em>Ghostbusters</em>

As if “90s kids needed another reason to avoid the library.

6. The Poltergeist clown

The <em>Poltergeist</em> clown

I actually didn”t watch this movie until safely in my 20s. Still peed my pants.

7. Jaws

<em>Jaws</em>

I”m pretty sure the whole point of “Shark Week” is to undo the fear of great whites that was implanted into our young minds with this horror classic.

8. The monster in the closet from Tales from the Darkside

The monster in the closet from <em>Tales from the Darkside</em>

See? It”s wet! Why did every monster look like it just got out of the shower?

9. The Crypt Keeper

The Crypt Keeper

In no way does this guy look like he was once a human being. Like he had to have been born a skeleton.

10. Chucky

Chucky

Again, luckily my fragile boy psyche didn”t get to meet this maniac doll, but my grown-man psyche isn”t any less broken.

Maybe there were some movies and TV shows in the “80s that weren”t terrifying, but for me, I”m going to stick to the movies I grew up with in the “90s and early 2000s, where if there were monsters, they were dry and would let you catch them in spheres and love you. (I”m talking about Pokemon, all you “80s geezers.)

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